Toe in the Water

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round

I really love to watch them roll

No longer riding on the merry-go-round

I just had to let it go

- John Lennon

In the future, when we leave South Africa for good, I might have to go back to work. Mr. Deep, when he proofreads this post, will strongly suggest that I change the word might in the previous sentence to will. But as nothing is certain life except death and taxes I am going to leave it as might.

Here's where I have to be careful because the way blogs and social media work it would be a real shame if at a future job interview the interviewer asked me, "why did you write in your blog that you'd rather quote stick your head in the toilet and flush repeatedly than return to the work force end quote?" So I won't write anything of the sort. Instead I'll tell you the real problem. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. 

The only thing I've figured out during my time away from work which now totals 870 days, (wow, time really does fly when you're having fun) is what I don't want to do with my life. Nice people who I share these thoughts with say kind things like, "figuring out what you don't want to do is the first step" or "I'm sure you can easily find something you love." These are the same people who probably told me twenty years ago, "I'm sure you'll decide that you want to have kids one day" and we all know how that turned out. 

Here's what I'm not looking for from my next job. 
Stress. A little stress is fine. Excitement, challenges, all good. What's not good is waking up in the middle of the night thinking about work problems. Similarly I don't want to spend my days at work putting out fires and dodging land mines. Figuratively, of course. I don't plan to actually do work involving fire fighting and land mines.

All consuming. The best part about my life now is all of the things that I do have time for. Things like making dinner, seeing friends, going to the gym, volunteering and staring at the wall. 

The challenge is how to turn the things I don't want out of work into a job that I do want. You don't see many resumes with this career objective: To work in an environment which is calm and peaceful and where a limited amount of effort and responsibility is required. Even someone applying for work at a spa would likely not be hired with that opening. 

And here's the real problem. I'm the one with the problem. If I worked at a spa I would make it stressful and all consuming. Within days of starting work at the spa I would likely have us implementing a new software program, repainting the lobby, training all masseuses to ensure consistency in service and having a focus group to secure customer feedback. I am the one who gets carried away and makes a job demanding and if the job is already demanding, then forget it I'm back to having a bald patch on my head.

Recently I worked on a fundraising project.  I didn't get paid but other that it was real work and the surprising part, it was enjoyable (and successful although that's not surprising.) A group of friends and I created and held an event to raise money for a bursary (scholarship) fund for female university students from Diepsloot. The event, called The Morning Market and Tea was held earlier this week at the home of my friend Sandy. 

Four of us worked for several months to plan the event.  We secured thirteen vendors selling various items (that was the market part.) Some of the vendors were seasoned pros who own their own successful businesses and others are just starting out. Confidence was there selling her artwork and Beatrice and Loyce were there selling cakes. Each vendor donated 10% of all sales. We had forty guests who each paid R200 at the door. A friend generously catered the event providing much more than the average tea finger sandwiches. In fact, there was not a finger sandwich to be found. We also had a raffle and silent auction which raised significant money. 

As the day may be drawing near when I begin to work again, I have been thinking about The Morning Market and Tea and what made it enjoyable and here's what I have come up with. First, each of the four of us put the cause first. Yes, we wanted to make the event fun but we always focused on how we could raise maximum funds. Second, each of us worked very hard. No one blew into meetings like a hurricane, shared a bunch of outrageous ideas and then disappeared. Third, there were no silly politics. No one called anyone else to complain about another member of the group behind her back...at least I don't think anyone did. It's certainly possible that people called each other to complain about me, but I was none the wiser. 

My career objective is now taking shape. Currently it looks like this: "To work in an environment where I can have maximum impact without having to endure any bullshit." OK, I could soften the wording a bit, but I think I'm making progress. 

Art by Confidence

Beatrice and Loyce

Gorgeous food

Photo credit for this photo and all below: Sue Huck

The market included a floral arrangement demonstration.

Til You Drop

I recently created an online fundraising appeal to buy solar lamps for students living in Diepsloot who attend the Diepsloot Combined School. Most people in Diepsloot live in shacks made of corrugated metal. Many of these shacks don't have electricity and some have no windows. Some shacks do have electricity but often it's not proper meaning it could be a light bulb hanging from the ceiling and that is it. People in Diepsloot who are fortunate enough to have electricity or fortunate enough to live in actual homes instead of shacks, often don't have electricity because it is unreliable and there are constant outages. Solar lamps will make it possible for students to read and study at night regardless of their electricity situation. Currently many are studying by candlelight. That may have been OK for Abe Lincoln but it's not OK in 2016. 

Shacks in Diepsloot

The fundraising effort has been extremely successful. Many people who read this blog donated and I am so appreciative! The lamps are going to make a huge difference in the lives of the students who receive them. Students who can read, study and complete homework are going to be better off in life. There is no question in my mind.

I like this lamp because it is solar but also has a hand crank so it can always be charged somehow.

Yesterday was the day to begin purchasing lamps. I visited a place called the China Mart located South of Joburg. From what I can tell there are various Chinatowns and Chinese markets (meaning Chinese people selling products produced in China) located throughout the city. I went to the China Mart with my friend and fellow Edu Fun volunteer, Belinda. She is the expert in all things China Mart. 

Belinda is American but she has been living in Joburg for years and she knows her way around the China Mart. She is a get stuff done kind of person and she is also volunteer extraordinaire as she supports and helps out many causes. Belinda is also a good price negotiator (I'm not) and thanks to her we got a great price on the lamps. Buying all of the lamps that we need is going to be a multi-step process but the trip to China Mart was a good start and I'll be delivering the first batch of lamps to the Diepsloot Combined School librarian on Monday.

Lamps!

China Mart is giant warehouse type building located off the M3 highway. There seem to be numerous buildings in the area selling goods from China. We visited three separate ones but there were others that we didn't visit this time. A few things to note if you are going to China Mart. First, it is cash only. Second, they close at 3:00 p.m. Because it is cash only there are security guys with guns manning the perimeter. I tried to get a photo but it's not like you can ask a guy with a gun to pose for you. Or maybe you can? I didn't try it. As for closing at 3:00, according to Belinda you need to depart by 2:00 or 2:30 latest or you will be stuck in horrible traffic trying to escape with everyone else. I also discovered from Belinda what stock means. If you want to buy six or more of an item you can get a lower stock price. 

When we arrived, the electricity was out. How ironic! This made the shopping a little challenging because each stall/store was in total darkness. The hallway we walked down was bright due to windows in the ceiling but it was hard to see the inventory inside the stores. Some stores had specific items like clothing or jewelry, others were multipurpose and so went into those asking if they had the lamps. Quite a few did not but then we found one that did. It was dark inside the store but the gentleman working there directed us by shining his laser pointer in the general direction of the lamps. We were able to get 29 lamps for R90 each which was a great deal (thanks to Belinda!) The man is also going to check to see if he has more and he is going to call me today with an update.

We then found a few more lamps at another store for R100 so we grabbed those also. 
After making certain that we had fully investigated the lamp situation, we looked around at some of the other stores. 

There was a jewelry store which for some reason had full electricity so we spent some time in there. 

Do you like this bracelet? I didn't buy it. 

Many people who shop at the China Mart are re-sellers. While we were looking at jewelry a guy came into the store and announced loudly, "I need stuff I can sell to white people." The guy working in the store and I both laughed but the gentleman, who later I found out was named Brian, was completely serious. I offered to help him, being white and all as a focus group of one. We got to talking and I found out Brian is from Zimbabwe and he really wants to visit America. Specifically he wants to visit Philadelphia. I asked him why Philadelphia (not that there's anything wrong with it but as a first choice you must agree it's a little surprising) and he said it's because he had a pen pal from Philadelphia when he was younger. I suggested he try to watch the movie Rocky as the second best thing to actually going to Philly.

Holy oil. The photo is blurry but I couldn't not include it. 

Lots of interesting products for sale!

Our last stop of the day was to visit a giant "Sweet Mart" as Belinda needed some things.  I have been away from the U.S. for a while now so it's been some time since I was in a Costco or a Target. Sweet Mart was like a Costco only all they sell are items containing sugar.

You've tasted Kool-Aid but have you tried Kool U Up?

Yum! I almost bought a jar.

You can almost see the gun. It is the black shadow to the left of and mostly hidden by the pole.

Later in the day I did get photo of a guy with a gun. This was at a petrol station on the way home. When armored cars are collecting cash from establishments there are always guys guarding with guns so this is a common sight but it's the first time I have been able to get a photo. 

The Year of Yes

When I became an expat last year, I read a lot of advice about how to handle the transition and settle into my new home country. Much of the advice was "get out there and meet people" and "don't worry if your new house isn't completely organized just start making friends."

Since I am physically unable to leave my house to do anything if my house isn't completely organized, I didn't follow the advice. In hindsight I eased into my life here slowly. 

In our first year we found a house, moved in and hosted my parents when they came to visit. I sought out an opportunity and began volunteering with EduFun. We made friends both naturally and through groups like Internations. We trained for and completed a half marathon and I resumed going to personal training. Last year I started and maintained the blog. And, we traveled to multiple places in South Africa. 

But, there is something markedly different about my second year here as compared to my first.

Even though I just listed all that was accomplished during year one, I also spent a significant amount of time last year doing absolutely nothing. And, I spent a lot of time doing mundane things like grocery shopping and organizing closets. After working for 20 years at a job that included a lot of nights and weekends, a really long commute and a significant amount of business travel, I couldn't get over the fact that suddenly I had free time. All the tasks that I used to cram into my time away from work, I now had endless time to accomplish. If I needed to write an email to someone, I could put thought into the text instead of just firing it off as fast as possible. If I needed to grocery shop I could take my time in doing so. If I needed to visit more than one store, or go grocery shopping again the next day because I was looking for something specific or because I forgot a bunch of stuff it didn't matter. I had the time. Looking back I spent a lot of time just being amazed about how much time I had. And, I was never bored. Not for one second. 

When year one turned into year two I became aware that my time here in South Africa wasn't going to last forever. Even though intellectually I knew that all along, I started to feel the pressure to make the most of this situation and thus began The Year of Yes.

I did not conceive of the concept of The Year of Yes on New Year's Eve because of some kind of champagne fueled epiphany. I actually didn't conceive of the concept of The Year of Yes at all. In year two I just naturally started saying yes to any and every opportunity that came my way. And now, half way through 2016 I realize that this is The Year of Yes.

When I was asked if I would teach a class at school on Mondays (last year I would visit the school and work with a small group of kids and now I stand up in the front of the classroom and lead the lesson) I said yes. When asked if I would be the co-administrator for the women's social group that I am part of I said yes. When invited by an Indian friend to learn how to drape a saree, I said yes. When invited by the same friend to participate in several Indian cooking classes that she was teaching, I said yes. When I noticed that there was a group of expats going to the Joburg CBD to take a graffiti tour I went along. When the opportunity arose to join a committee to plan an event to raise money for scholarships for girls from Diepsloot going to university, I got involved. When I learned that solar lamps were needed so kids living shacks in Dieplsoot without electricity could study at night, I began a fundraising campaign. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

What's funny is that I thought I didn't want to fundraise anymore, I never considered what it would be like to wear a saree, I'm not particularly interested in graffiti, I never liked school when I was a student and I never particularly liked being around kids.

But it turns out some kids are fun to be around (and some are not), wearing a saree is a cool experience to try once in your life, Indian food is interesting and different than the food I am used to cooking, graffiti can be beautiful and takes lot of talent to create, and working on fundraising projects again has been a rewarding experience.

Teaching grade 3 students as part of the EduFun program at the
Diepsloot Combined School

When I came here I had a list of things I wanted to do during my jobless period. Except for writing this blog, finding a great volunteer opportunity and taking a photography class (and I only did that because Mr. Deep insisted) I haven't done any of the things on my list. I thought I would blow the dust off of the Rosetta Stone we bought years ago and teach myself Spanish. But, it turns out that while I would love to speak Spanish fluently, I have no interest in taking the time to learn it. I also thought I would take a digital marketing class but I never did so I must not be that interested. In addition I planned to watch every James Bond movie ever made in order. That one I might still do. Marathon movie watching seems like a good activity to take on during The Year of Yes. 

Cooking at Indian cooking school.

saree selfie

Wearing the saree 

Street art in the Joburg CBD.

The graffiti tour was great, I may write a separate blog post about it.