Post Lecture Fun

You can imagine that following the whole Kwaad experience we were nervous to go on another safari in Pilanesberg. That episode occurred on Friday evening and we had planned to go on at least two additional game drives over the weekend. What would we do if we showed up at the meeting point only to learn that Kwaad was our leader? 

If we were assigned to Kwaad, Mr. Deep decided that he would feign illness and announce that he couldn't go on the safari. If you know Mr. Deep personally you won't be surprised to learn that his fake illness of choice was a serious case of diarrhea.  The plan was that if we arrived on Saturday morning and were assigned to Kwaad, Mr. Deep would grab his belly, double over, announce that he was in major gastric distress and then run off toward the bathroom. I was supposed to follow him (not into the bathroom but just far enough to get away from the group) to make sure he was alright. As fool proof (and creative) as this plan was, fortunately we did not have to put it into action as we were assigned to a new guide named Jonathan.

Jonathan was a lovely guide. He was very knowledgeable and also announced that if anyone saw anything (or even thought that maybe they had spotted something) that they should announce it to the group. 

We saw some great animal sightings with Jonathan including a pride of 9 lions which we came upon both in the morning and again in the evening. During the evening game drive we saw these same lions patiently stalk and then give chase to wildebeest.  We don't know if there was a kill because the chase took them out of our viewing area. But it was exciting! 

Enjoy the photos.

Rhino butts!

Elephants greeting each other

Impala in morning light

Part of the pride of 9 lions

jackal

Walking while eating grass

lioness stalking wildebeest

This is part of the pride of 9 seen in the afternoon. They are slowly making their way toward the wildebeest.

Wildebeest take off!

Lioness in wildebeest dust but other members of the lion pride had circled around toward the wildebeest from a different angle.

I always need to include one of these.

Steenbok

Pilanesberg II: The Wrath of Kwaad

The first African safari Mr. Deep and I went on was a self drive in Pilanesberg National Park. I wrote about that adventure in this post. As we had not been back to Pilanesberg since that first trip, this past weekend we traveled there to enjoy a weekend of relaxation and game drives. We arrived Friday afternoon, sat by the pool for a bit, and then headed out for the afternoon game drive.  While self drive is fine, Mr. Deep and I have learned that we prefer a guided game drive because the guides really do know where to find the animals. When you are driving yourself you're kind of just aimlessly cruising around and hoping for the best.

We checked in for the drive and were assigned to one of the safari vehicles.  While we were waiting to "take off" we saw the driver/game drive leader of the other vehicle jump on board in a jolly and enthusiastic manner to excitedly greet his safari goers. He introduced himself and proceeded to let everyone know what a fun adventure they were in for. Meanwhile, on our bus, our driver boarded without any greeting at all. As if this weren't strange enough, when he tried to start the vehicle it wouldn't start.

At this point, Mr. Deep jumped from his seat and began offering the use of his ResQ battery to anyone who would listen. Instead of taking Mr. Deep up on his offer to save the day, our driver tried to pop start the vehicle with the assistance of some other guides. Finally, the vehicle started and we were on our way. 

We drove into the park and our driver stopped the vehicle to welcome us. When I say welcome us I mean that he stood up facing us and the other passengers expressionless and silently staring until everyone gave him his full attention. Then, without telling us his name or giving any instructions or information he mumbled a few words and we were on our way again. He did not seem very enthused about the game drive ahead. In fact he seemed quite annoyed. Mr. Deep inferred that he was angry that he was assigned to the vehicle that wouldn't start.  Since our guide never told us his name, I'm going to call him Kwaad which means means angry in Afrikaans (according to Google.) 

When on safari everyone wants to see lions. Often you will not see them as they spend most of their time lying under trees and sleeping. Shortly into the drive one of our fellow passengers started yelling, "lions, lions." Instead of being excited by this news, Kwaad stopped the vehicle (reluctantly I might add) and said, in annoyed tone "are you sure?" This was a strange reply because it can be difficult to spot animals on safari and usually people are encouraged to shout if they think they see something. As they say many of sets of eyes are better than one. Our fellow passenger insisted he had seen lions and so begrudgingly Kwaad started to back up the vehicle. While he was doing so some of the passengers were trying to guide him, as there was a lot of brush which was blocking the view of the lions. Kwaad was not interested in any critique or feedback about where to stop the vehicle. He abruptly stopped the bus, turned off the engine and began to lecture the group about how we "had no respect for each other." It seemed like he was just mad that he hadn't seen the lions first but who knows what set him off. His rant gave me flashbacks of when our elementary school bus driver used to pull over to the side of the road to yell at us. Kwaad went on to sternly tell us that "the lions were on the road earlier but since our group was late getting started we missed that." He closed his lecture with "if you want to be selfish then you should rent a private safari vehicle" because there are "22 people on this bus." 

His diatribe really seemed to come out of no where as I didn't witness anyone doing anything out of the ordinary. People get excited when animals are spotted and they grab their cameras and try to get photos. Of course there are situations that would require a safari guide to lash out at passengers, like if people had their limbs hanging out of the vehicle or if they were tossing raw meat out to the animals but in this case I am not really sure what it was that people on our bus did to warrant such a tongue lashing. And, in fairness to all of us, Kwaad never explained any rules to the group when we set out. Other guides we have had in the past have shared rules such as stay in your seats and reminded people that not everyone is going to be the correct side for viewing every single time. 

Following Kwaad's monologue, we continued our our way, spotting hippos, elephants, zebras and a leopard. During this time, Kwaad seemed to relax a bit making some jokes and acting like his earlier tirade hadn't happened. Then, about two hours in to the drive, it was time to stop for a break. We exited one of the park gates so that we could safely get out of the vehicle to enjoy a drink and a snack.  Just prior to the break we had just seen an elephant walking nearby. Kwaad told us that once we stopped we could walk along the fence line and watch the elephant drink from the water hole. Several people from our group walked up to the fence only to be scolded by Kwaad moments later for "scaring the elephant away."

At this point, Mr. Deep and I were trading glances at each other over this absurd conduct. But the craziest behavior came at the conclusion of our break.

Most of us at one time or another have been on a group tour or at a work meeting where there is a break. And if you have, you know that most people don't really observe the break time allotted and have to be herded back so that things can get started again. This break was no different. While we were enjoying drinks and snacks Mr. Deep and I began talking to a nice couple. They were telling us all about their trip across America by rail when we felt a set of eyeballs burning into our backs.  The eyeballs belonged to Kwaad. He was standing nearby, arms folded, glaring at us. We took this to mean that break time was now over. We quickly boarded the bus hoping to avoid being yelled at. 

When everyone was back on board, Kwaad announced that we had taken more than the ten minute allotted break time and that the gate to the park where we had exited was now closed. This seemed pretty ridiculous since we were standing right next to the gate the whole break time and I am pretty sure the gate was manually closed by someone working the gate. Kwaad went on to say that since we didn't follow his instructions we would have to drive around and re-enter at the main park gate to get back to the hotel. It seems like an announcement could have easily been made to say get back on the bus now before the gate closes, since we were all standing within about 50 feet of the bus, but no such announcement was made. We were clearly being punished for our earlier transgressions. It reminded me of how the airlines love to blame passengers for flight delays. "Since the boarding process took too long and there were too many carry on bags we couldn't leave the gate before the thunderstorm rolled in so now we are delayed."

As the park was now closed we ended our game drive in an unusual manner of driving the last 20 minutes along a main road outside the park in our safari vehicle. I'm also pretty sure we witnessed a car jacking while we were making our way back to the lodge. 

Mr. Deep and I found the situation amusing but I do feel badly if there was anyone on the drive who saved their money to go on safari and then spent the afternoon getting yelled at. 

And we still don't know what it was that we did wrong. 

Close Up

I'm pleased that my blog is featured on the website Expat.com. If you are planning a move to South Africa or anywhere outside of your home country, Expat.com allows you to get in touch with expats living nearby and provides a great resource for discussions, jobs, housing information and more. The website also provides an opportunity to meet people and make friends in your new country. Check it out!

And now onto today's blog post.  

When on safari you have the chance to see many animals. The best part is you are seeing these creatures in their natural environment doing whatever it is they would be doing whether you were there or not. However the animals you are viewing may still be far away and if you are taking photos on safari you likely need to use a zoom lens in order to get really good pictures. 

Recently Mr. Deep and I had the chance to see some animals up close. A few weeks ago we went out for another 4x4 adventure near our home. We came upon some zebras munching on grass. These zebras must be very used to humans being nearby because we were able to get quite close to them and they didn't seem to mind. 

This is not a picture of a zebra. But I love this photo anyway.

Very artsy

A few weeks ago we also visited the Elephant Sanctuary in Hartbeesport in the North West Province. This sanctuary is housed on the same property where the thieving monkeys that I wrote about in this post live. The elephants and the monkeys are kept separately from each other. The elephant sanctuary is home to former zoo and circus elephants who now have the chance to live in a semi-free environment. 

While we were waiting to see elephants we were hanging out with this guy. We are caged and he is free. 

The elephant sanctuary gave us the opportunity to get extremely close to the elephants. We got some great photos!

I can't get over the eyelashes!

Close up of a broken tusk

Our guide, Charles. Pronounced Chouse (rhymes with house)

Charles showing us an elephant skull. The spongy looking area contains air to keep the elephant's brain cool.
The below photo is a dung beetle in the shadow of an elephant.

Here are two photos of the same bug. In the first he is eating a flattened mango. We first noticed the white stripes on his tail. In the second you can really see all of his colors. Does anyone know what kind of insect this is? 

The D word

"You get what you put in and people get what they deserve
Still I ain't seen mine, no I ain't seen mine
I've been givin' but just ain't gettin' I've been walkin' that thin line
So I think I'll keep a walking with my head held high" - Kid Rock, Only God Knows Why

When you were a kid did your mom have a specific saying or rule for life that she repeated to you over and over? Mr. Deep's mom used to say, "you buttered your bread, now sleep on it." My friend's mom used to say "if you're bored you're boring." 

Actually Mr. Deep's mom didn't exactly say "you buttered your bread now sleep on it." But she was known for saying both "you buttered your bread now eat it" and "you made your bed now sleep in it" and Mr. Deep being quite hilarious, even at a young age, changed it to "you buttered your bread, now sleep on it."

I wonder in this day of of bounce house birthday parties are moms are still imparting these one line snippets of wisdom onto their children? 

My mom's words of wisdom were, "life's not fair." And of course she was correct.

The thing about life not being fair is that we all know it, but time after time we keep forgetting and repeatedly becoming outraged, disappointed and upset when unfair things happen. Meanwhile, we are more than happy to congratulate ourselves or others when good things happen that we deem fair and well deserved.

I'm not suggesting we all become robots and start muttering life's not fair over and over in a monotone voice. And I'm not saying we should stop caring about the things that are going on around us good or bad, but I am going to start taking a small stand against the idea that good things happen for good people and bad things happen to people who are either bad, not good enough, or worse, don't try hard enough to make good things happen for themselves. 

How am I going to make this stand? This declaration? From this day onward I am no longer going to use the word deserve. As I said, it's a small stand but it's an important one because we are all using this D word countless times a day. We are saying it out loud to each other (you deserve better) and silently to ourselves in our own heads (I didn't deserve that.) In my opinion, the D word relieves us of taking responsibility for our own actions, and using it is disrespectful to those who are suffering. 

You probably think I have gone off the deep end, so let me explain a bit.

"I went to the gym today. I deserve to have ice cream."
No, I don't. I want to have ice cream and for some reason I feel the need to tell myself and everybody else within earshot why it's a great idea, my destiny if you will, for me to have ice cream. From now on if I want ice cream then I will just eat it minus any large announcement about the efforts I put in throughout the day which led me to my decision. I will just say it, "I want ice cream." Or, "I'm having ice cream." Or even, "watch how much ice cream I can eat in one sitting." The same goes for a new car, a new house, clothes, a vacation, a fancy purse, beauty treatments or anything else. I don't deserve these things and I don't not deserve them. I might want them and if I want them then I will decide if I can afford to get them, weigh how much I really want them and go from there.

I am going to stop using the D word when congratulating others. I am no longer going to send emails that say congratulations on your well-deserved promotion (this will actually be quite easy being that I don't have a job or any co-workers but you get the idea.) Instead I will say, "you worked really hard, it is great to see that your efforts are being recognized by the company." Or, "you'll be great in your new role." But the D word will not be used. Why? Because a lot of people deserve promotions, not everyone gets promotions, working hard does not mean you deserve a promotion and not everyone who gets promoted deserves it. 

I am also not going to celebrate anymore when bad things happen to people I don't like. If Donald Trump slips on a marble floor in one of the Trump buildings and cracks his head open because some immigrant didn't mop the floor properly, I am not going to say that Donald got what he deserved. I might laugh, but I will not use the D word. Because if I did say that Donald got what he deserved, then I'd have to go around reminding anyone and everyone who has had a mishap caused by the universe that they either did or didn't deserve what happened to them and that is silly.

"I'm sorry you have cancer, you don't deserve this." 
That is a horrible thing to say to someone. The person is likely thinking back over his entire life rehashing every hot dog eaten, every martini consumed, every bit of anger held onto and every dental x-ray taken wondering what he did that caused the cancer. And does anyone really deserve to get cancer? If so, who? Charles Manson? People who prey on children? People who beat dogs?  Who are we to decide who deserves what? Even someone who smokes three packs of cigarettes a day for 50 years doesn't deserve cancer. We might be less surprised if that person is diagnosed with cancer, but that doesn't mean she or he deserves to suffer or that his or her family should have to endure heartache. 

Moving to Africa has reminded me just how much so many people are struggling. I hope that Christine does not wonder what she did in life to deserve to live in a shack, with no electricity and without running water, surrounded by trash. Because I can promise you she did nothing to deserve it. Did Gift deserve to be born in Zimbabwe and forced to live under Mugabe's leadership? Does he deserve a life where he has to work six or seven days a week yet still barely has enough money to buy food and by food I mean maize meal and some occasional chicken? And I don't deserve the great life I have. Yes, I have worked hard. Yes, I try to be a good person. Yes, I am grateful for all that I have both material and abstract. But deserving? That is where I have to draw the line. 

Save the Drama for Your Momma (or your daddy)

When we moved to South Africa I thought the hard part would be the move and then once we were living here everything would be smooth sailing. But in 2015 two things happened that were challenging and made us feel like getting settled here was going to take longer than expected. The first thing was the drama with our house and potentially having to move and second was the ongoing saga of having to re-apply for our visas. Here is an update on both situations. 

"No, I am your father" - Darth Vader

Let's have a little refresher. "Previously on Tales of the Visa Reapplication..."

The visas that Mr. Deep and I currently have are less than a year old. Unfortunately about six months after we arrived in South Africa, we learned that we needed to reapply for new visas due to a slight name change at Mr. Deep's company. Having to reapply would have in itself, been a total pain but the real pain for me came when due to my inadequate fingerprint quality (it's a condition that I suffer from.) I had to fly back to the US to have my fingerprints taken electronically so that I could submit them as part of an FBI background check which is needed for the visa application. The situation was outlined in this post. 

After my quick trip half way around the world and back, we got the fingerprints, the FBI background checks, the chest x-rays, the updated documents and letters from Mr. Deep's company and everything else required under the sun put together. At the end of October we visited Home Affairs to submit our applications for new visas. To facilitate the application at Home Affairs, we had a local expert from an attorneys office who met us there the day we had the appointment to submit our applications. Even with his help we spent over four hours at Home Affairs that day while our "handler" visited all of the different counters on our behalf shuffled around the paperwork and called us to come up to the counter to sign various documents in the presence of the Home Affairs staff when needed. At the end of the four hours we were told it would take 3-4 months to process everything and then we would receive our new visas. 

Then the day before we were scheduled to leave for the USA for our Thanksgiving holiday we received word that the visas were ready and we were told to send our passports to the lawyer to have the new visas attached. Of course we couldn't oblige because we needed our passports to be able to fly so we advised the experts that we'd send them along when we got back. 

Now, do you want the good news or the bad news? 

The good news is Mr. Deep's visa is a-ok and he will be getting his passport back shortly with his shiny new visa affixed. Once he receives it he can resume having a jolly good time working in South Africa and flashing his visa to anyone and everyone at any opportunity just to prove that he is official. 

The bad news is that my visa is going to take a little bit longer because an error was made. Here is a snippet from the email Mr. Deep received regarding the error. "However, there is bad news in that the South African Dept of Home Affairs have messed up your wife's passport endorsement. They have stated in the visa that it is 'dependent on father' rather than husband. This has been flagged to them and they have requested the passport back to rectify. They should issue the correctly worded visa next week."

Mr. Deep wonders if it might be easier (and faster) if he and I get divorced and then he adopts me as his daughter so that the visa will be accurate.

"I feel we are all islands - in a common sea" - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

The house drama has ended as the house has been sold. But there was one last thing that happened with the previous owner/landlord that I never wrote about and like the visa situation it is so ridiculous that it needs to be shared publicly. 

A day or so before the closing on the house both the new owner and the previous owner came over to take a look around and to discuss a few items that, according to the previous owner, were not included with the sale. Even though I had inquired as to what exact items were not included I was never told, so as they were looking around I too was learning what was considered extra. The purpose of all of this was that the previous owner wanted the new owner to buy these items from her or, the previous owner was going to remove these items from the house. 

It turns out that the main items that were not included in the sale were pots. As in about 15 large pots with plants in them. These pots were outside in the garden and on top of the third floor roof deck. While it makes sense to me that potted plants would not be included in the sale of a home, there is something called an "aggravation dollar" which is a phrase that I learned from a very smart boss I once had. The aggravation dollar means that sometimes it is not worth it to worry about such matters because you will end up paying with your time and aggravation. 

All of the pots were quite large and heavy. In order to move them the previous owner would have to find at least two strong guys to carry them for her and would have also needed some kind of truck to fit them all. Even with a bakkie (pick up truck) or an SUV, I still think several trips would be needed to collect all the pots. The new owner said she wanted a few of the pots but not all and while I liked the pots I certainly wasn't going to buy them being that at some point we will be leaving South Africa and we will not want to be lugging around a bunch of pots. So the previous owner said she would come and collect the pots that were not going to be purchased by the new owner.

After we were done looking at pots we were standing around near the kitchen area and the previous owner casually announced that the "chopping block" also was not included in the sale. Both the new owner and I were shocked. First, chopping block is not an accurate name for this piece of furniture. While yes, it has a butcher block type top and it is used for chopping food, it really is what would be considered an island as it measures 3 feet high, 5 feet long and 3 feet wide (or as we like to say in South Africa .91 meters high, 1.5 meters long and .91 meters wide.) In addition, this item clearly matches the kitchen cabinets and another non removable island in the next room. 

In America we call this type of behavior on the part of the previous owner "reaching for shit."
Like, let's see if I can get these either the tenants or the new owner to pay to keep the island, (which I'll call a chopping block because then it sounds like less of a big deal.) True it would be nearly impossible for me to move this island, I mean uh er chopping block, as it won't fit through the door of the house without being disassembled and sure it was custom made to fit in and match the kitchen where it resides currently but hey, lets give it a shot. That's the definition of reaching for shit.

As everyone was so surprised to learn this bit of information the fate of the chopping block (aka island) was not finalized on that day.  Later when Mr. Deep and I moved the island (before this incident we didn't even realize this thing was movable - it's that big) was saw there was a hole in the floor for an outlet of some kind thus complicating the situation because if the island was removed, the tile in the floor would also need to be replaced. A few days later the new owner asked the previous owner how much she wanted for the chopping block and was told the original purchase price was R30,000 which equals a lot of money. Also, that was the cost before people spent countless hours chopping on the thing. So the new owner said thanks but no thanks and Mr. Deep and I decided to buy a new more generic island that we could take with us when we leave here. Yes, we were sad to the see the lovely island go but what were we going to do? Just like the pots we can't be bogged down carrying an island around that is never going to match another kitchen of ours again.

Then, similar to some other points in time during the course of the housing drama, the new owner consulted a lawyer about the situation and told the previous owner, sorry but my lawyer says no way...the chopping block must stay. 

And so the previous owner went off into the lovely South African sunset and was never heard from again. All of the pots and the chopping block/island remain in place for the Deep family to continue to enjoy and chop on. Unless I get deported. Then, Mr. Deep will have to enjoy these items for both of us.

large pot with pen for scale.

Smaller pot which is not that small.

"chopping block"

Other furniture that matches the chopping block.